So I've just switched on my cell and received an sms.
OMG. She's going? Why didn't you tell me earlier??
Cellular. Isn't it coincidential?
The lead character freaks out.
And I freak out.
Except that this isn't a phone call.
Now I can't help but feel a little jealous. And a little backstabbed. I don't know why. I'm not supposed to. Because I wasn't backstabbed. Don't worry this part doesn't concern the both of you. Not really. Maybe I'm just paranoid. Maybe you're sick and tired of me saying the same thing over and over again. I don't blame you. You've told me. I don't have to feel this way. Because I know the truth. At least, it is the truth, as far as I know. Is there anything else I'm supposed to know but I don't know? Nevermind. Please don't tell me. I don't wanna know. Ignorance is bliss. Really.
Don't you get it? She likes you. She still does. I'm not saying you can't go out with her or anything. But why can't it be someone else? Ok maybe I'm just being selfish. I know this is gonna be really important to her. But I don't want her to have false hopes.
I have to say everything now. I might not have the chance later. Two weeks. Don't blame me for being crude. I've been keeping it to myself for some time now. Until someone taught me not to hold everything back.
______, you said you liked J more, so I thought you didn't mind.
But that was a week ago. Now you've seemed to have sunk deeper and deeper into the feeling. Why does Man only cherish what is lost? You disagreed.
You said you treasured him last time. But now you treasure him even more.
Why did you only treasure him as friend then?
You only realised you liked him after you knew about the trip. And by that time the whole thing was already half-over. Nobody could do anything.
You said you wouldn't interfere and you kept your word. I respect you for that. But if you think it's over it's over. Why lament about it? You make me feel like I messed everything up. Stop it. It's mental torture. Did I really? Fine.
Then please inform me of my status so I know how the whole world thinks of me. =1
By the way you don't suck. Stop saying you suck. That's so cliched. And it gets on nerves. Do you know you're actually insulting me too by saying that? You're better than me in one way or another so if you suck what does that make me??
I'm being extremely (and abnormally) irritable, I know.
Trust me. You don't know half of what's going on in my life. I'm facing more problems now than any one of you. ANY ONE OF YOU.
____________________________________
There're plenty of fish in the sea.
You might catch one which is is seemingly tasty and sweet. You think, this fish is flawless!! But after a while it starts decomposing. You don't know and you eat it. You get a nasty stomachache. But after a while (maybe a long while) it goes off. You are well again.
And you will catch one which is smooth and scaleless, juicy and tender. Ah. You eat it and it fills you up. It enriches you and makes you a better person. Now that's the perfect catch!!
Hope every one of you will catch that fish someday. It might take a month, a year, the next five years, a decade... ... but hey, keep searching. You'll find it, I'm dead sure.
____________________________________
Anyway. My sincere apologies to those I've mentioned in this post and know it. Just letting you know that I'm not mad at either of you or anything.
Sigh.
Leen tried to force a smile @... 2:48 PM
